and everybody's dancing to get it off their chests [entries|friends|calendar] Annie existentialism on prom night. 1 / 2 / 3 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Mon:07/23/07;02:49PM] somebody tell me what to do about asshole guys and why I cling to them? just make me not give a fuck. i can't do this anymore. i fucking deserve better, kbye 1 \\ add+

on being single... [Wed:07/04/07;05:05PM] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Paramore ] Lately, I've been thinking too much about my life. Maybe because I'm at a standstill or maybe it is just because my anxiety is getting the best of me. I'm starting to wonder if I really do enjoy being single, or if I use it as an excuse as to why I don't have that special someone in my life. I haven't had a boyfriend in two years and I'm starting to even completely keep the last one out of my memory forever. This fact is starting to weigh on my confidence. As I've gotten older, I'm starting to believe in myself more and more and accept me for who I am. I know that I have adoring friends who feel that same way about me, but I feel like I'm always wanting more. It seems as if every guy I meet just wants to get in my pants or is expecting me to just because I am nice to them. It's starting to really hinder my faith in myself and my relationships with others. I haven't even dated anyone in about two years. Is that because I don't want to or because I'm really not that worth it? I'm tired of believing all of the words that come out of guy's mouths. And I'm tired of giving guys a chance that defeinitely never deserved them. When's the last time I was taken out on a nice date or a boy just wanted to spend time with me to be around me?...a long time ago. It's starting to make me think I'm going to be lonely for a long while. I want to be someone's everything again. I want to wake up next to someone and do things for them and vice versa. I want to know that I mean that much to someone and they are happy just hanging out with me...not expecting more. I feel like I deserve to be treated that way. I want a guy to take a chance on getting to know me and then be thankful that they did...and I know they will be. It just seems like...why don't guys even try and why arent they willing to make the effort? I'm worth it and no one seems to get that through their heads. I don't know, maybe I just sound like a cynical lonely girl, but sometimes it gets tiring being single and I just want someone to make an effort again. It's been too long without it. I can only handle these stupid mind games played by every guy I meet a little longer until I just won't try anymore. I'm also tired of blaming myself for being so gullible. _________________________ Besides all that nonsense...This weekend will be full of fun and time off work. I get to finally see my old roomates and spend time with friends I am entirely comfortable with. At least I know that I haven't lost faith in them, even if I'm starting to in myself. I just need some sleep, good times, and to stop being so busy. It's messing with my head. In the mean time...if you're a guy just looking to get in my pants or expect anything other than getting to know me...get the hell out of here, because I'm an amazing girl. :) 3 \\ add+

[Fri:01/26/07;01:57AM] since when does passive = immature?? add+

[Mon:12/11/06;07:15PM] So I've decided that it seems I care more about others feelings than my own. When did it shift so much? I know that I have always been pretty caring, and too nice to people, but it's like i've completely overshadowed myself. thats not good. I may need some help from friends. I need to get back on track, preferrably before I start my second semester of college. I feel like I've decided things about my life subconsciously.I feel like I've chosen who matters more and that I may or may not have time for certain people. I feel guilty about everything, all the time, and I think maybe I haven't cared too much about what I want. I do this a lot. Its confusing and messes with my head. I should treat myself better than I do. I don't give Annie any props. Time for a change. and I mean it. Or at least I'm going to try. 1 \\ add+

friends only. [Wed:06/09/04;03:12PM] if you don't see any other posts -you are not on my friends list -i don't have any public posts up for you to read comment and i'll add you. 59 \\ add+

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